hard to chose the best story and of the nine three got two votes so no clear winner first of all id Rosemary's.
Next month - Not disappointed.
Locate
Friends of ours have recently moved from their large detached house into a very nice apartment in a complex for the over-60's and are trying to persuade us to relocate to an empty apartment there. They invited us to tea, showed us around and sang the praises of all the help and care available there when needed, as age creeps up on us. All very nice - BUT -
BUT how well I remember, only a dozen or so years ago, deciding to relocate from OUR fairly large detached house and garden into our present smallish bungalow. Oh, the trauma of sorting things out, deciding what to keep and what to discard. "NO, we can't possibly get rid of THAT," was the cry from both my husband and myself. "NO, that was my MUM'S/my GRAN'S/my AUNT'S - FAR TOO PRECIOUS - WE SIMPLY MUST KEEP THAT." And so it went on - until I must confess our little bungalow is awash with unnecessary STUFF - unused tea sets, glassware, pictures, photos and totally UNCOUNTABLE knick-knacks, which adorn, fill and overflow countless cupboards and shelves. PLUS, of course there are all my BOOKS, which are totally unimportant in HIS eyes, whereas his Aunt's fine bone china tea set is definitely not important in MINE! "WHAT? US RELOCATE TO SOMEWHERE SMALLER? NO WAY! Why, we can seldom locate what we're looking for right now, among all the STUFF we hang onto for its sentimental value, with the vague hope it may come in handy one day - but probably not for at least 100 years or more!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My playlet also had 2 votes and to add atmosphere I've included a picture of the two Ronnies Read slowly with a yokel accent.
Locate
The
two Ronnies were contemplating the setting sun from their usual
wooden seat overlooking the rural countryside. Dressed in white
Yokel smocks.
RC
chewing a piece of straw said I hear you were busy yesterday.
Who
told you that then?
I
saw Morgan the butcher this morning, he told me.
He
don't miss much that Thomas Morgan
(pause)
What
happened then?
Mrs
Jones rang me to help her locate a bovine.
Did
you find Mrs Jones bovine.
We
found Mrs Jones bovine in dippyfoot lake.
Heifer?
Why
do you say f… her she always treats me right.
I
said heilfer not f… her.
She's
a big lass
Thomas
Morgan says she's got even bigger the last few months.
Why
did he say that then.
Thomas
said Jim the carpenter had to call on Mrs Jones. Leg was broken.
Mrs
Jones leg was broken?
No
Mrs Jones bed.
Mrs
Jones has never been the same since Mr Jones had that tragic
accident.
A
nasty affair.
What
was?
The
accident Mr Jones falling over in the kitchen with Mrs Jones
Thomas
said he was big in cider
Pause
for chuckle.
O
aye he owned pips cider mill
Mrs
Jones liked her cider too.
Do
you give her some?
What
do you mean do I give her some?
Well
you know do you give her some? Did you give her some cider?
Some
times, I have given her some.
Did
you yesterday.
What
give her some? I was too busy looking for Mrs Jones bovine that got
lost in Dippyfoot lake.
Did
you get it out of Dippyfoot lake.
It
was a struggle but yes we got it out of Dippyfoot lake. We pulled it
out of Dippyfoot lake with Mrs Jones Austin 7
Steer?
Steer
what I don't drive you know I haven't had a car since they rationed
it for the Suez crisis.
I
said steer, was it a steer?
Yes,
Yes it was a steer we pulled out of Dippyfoot lake.
Mrs
Jones must have been pleased you got her steer out of Dippyfoot
lake.
She
was very pleased.
Did
you go back with Mrs Jones.
Well
she said I should get out of my wet smock - it was on my way home
see. How could I say no.
Did
you give her some.
I
will give her her some, two from last year's apple crop.
Did
Jim the carpenter make a good job of mending the bed.
Mrs
Jones said he will have to come back tomorrow the other leg has gone
now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sheila's story next
LOCATE .
'How do I LOCATE the on/off button on this new fandangles thing?
Grandma said to her grandson William. He chuckled, Just put that end - he
pointed - into that slot and the other into this space near the handbreak, and
it will come on automatically. Having been brought up by his Grandparents from
the age of three and a bit till now at the grown-up age of twenty he felt that
he was quite experienced in the use of modern technology to be able to give
something back to Grandma in the way of these 'fandangled' new things.
"Oh my"
said Grandma as she watched the little screan come to life. "So l have to do
anything else?". "Just press the screen in the bottom left hand corner and some
numbers will come up. Press the top one and it will tell us the way to Carol's
house. Grandma did this and was quite amazed when things started to happen.
"How does that lady speaking know where Carol lives,does she know her?".
William
patiently answered that, and all the other questions until they had 'arrived at
your designation on the right'. William's Grandfather had died a few weeks ago
and in his will he had wanted his cousin Carol to have a few things that she
would remember from their youth. Grandma had not seen Carol for many years but
they were soon chatting away as though the years between had disappeared. After
a very welcome cup of tea and a slice of homemade cake Carol gave them a tour of
her garden. Quite near the house was a nice looking shed - no, more like a
chalet with a bit of decking in front with two armchair type chairs and a little
table. On entering she saw a sewing and knitting area on one side and a
computer on the other surrounded with lots of papers and books.
Carol explained
that she had been trying to trace her family tree. This intrigued Grandma so
Carol showed her how far she had got. On the way home Grandma asked William to
show her how his computer worked because 'if Carol can use one I can - at least
give it a good try'. William showed her how to set it up and got her to follow
his instruçtions. After a while if began to sink in and Grandma grew more
confident. She was getting quite excited about finding out about her family
tree and wondering where it will lead but she also knew that it would take ages
- and ages - and ages . . .
