January meeting

Beautifully sunny morning and a pleasant get together for January's meeting. Jenny got four votes just beating Pat's three votes.

'Still Continued' by Jenny Day

Alice and Ethel were sisters, two of 15 children.  Alice, born in 1898, was older than Ethel, but they were always very close.

Not easy being part of such a big family.  Alice said, when she was quite young she remembered always having to nurse a baby while her mother read a book.

They lived in an area of Northam, not the most salubrious part of Southampton.  Life was very hard.  When the girls left school at 14 they went into service in a richer family.

Later Ethel was lucky; she was sent to Canada to look after an aunt and begin a new life.  As soon as Alice was old enough, she left the service life, left home and went to sea, working as a cabin stewardess.  I'm sure her mother was pleased with any extra income that came her way!

Ethel's life changed completely.  She met her husband, Alf, a Londoner.  Why he was in Canada I don't know, but she married him and had a very happy and comfortable life.  They lived in London, Ontario and had four children.

Alice's life changed also.  While she was on HMS Aquitania, she met Harry.  He was a carpenter working on the ships.  They married in 1927 when she was 29 years old, but life was still not as easy as that of Ethel and Alf. 

Harry was a wonderful carpenter.  He made nearly all their furniture.  It was beautiful and practical, and furnished their little house in Old Shirley, which they had worked so hard to buy.

Life was still hard.  The country was still recovering from a terrible, long war, but they were still happy and in 1933 they had a son.

They had survived the slump, but not before Alice had to pawn her engagement and wedding rings, among other things, but they still owned their own house.  If I ever feel hard done by, I should think of the terrible times they must have encountered.

Harry had survived a dreadful time in the trenches in the 1914-18 War.  He had experienced 'shell shock' and when the 1939 World War broke out, he was unable to cope and had a major breakdown.  He spent some time in a London hospital, but once the war casualties started to arrive, his bed was needed.   Alice was not going to allow him to be sent to a mental hospital.  She signed papers to have him released into her care.

Harry never worked again, so Alice had to be the breadwinner, first in the munitions factory during the war, then in the margarine factory.  She left home at  six in the morning, returning at six at night, only to face the housework and care of her family.

Many years later, when I met her son, Les, I found her sour and cold.  My family were so different and I was nervous of her! 

After Les and I were married, I got to know her better and realised, beneath the strict and miserable exterior was a softer side.  She was generous and kind.

 I think Les was a disappointment to her and I was the daughter she had always wanted.  Oh, but it was hard to keep up the standard of her white washing!  It was so bright it could hurt your eyes.

Alice still continued to keep in touch with Ethel.  I can remember her receiving boxes of bright red Canadian apples and other gifts.  I guess they were aware of how tough our lives were compared to theirs.

Ethel and Alf came to visit Alice a couple of times.  They were lovely people.  Alice was invited to the wedding of one of their granddaughters and she took Julie, her granddaughter, with her. 

Harry did spend several years in Knowle Hospital, near Fareham, when he could no longer care for himself, and Alice would take the special bus every Sunday to visit him, taking one of the grandchildren with her.

After Harry died Alice discovered money he had squirrelled away over the years.  One can only guess all the hardship had affected his mind. 

With this money Alice paid for the seven of us to visit Ethel and Alf in Canada.  What a visit!  We were shared amongst the family.  Alice, Les and myself stayed with Ethel and Alf, my sons Jeff and Simon stayed with daughter Dorothy and Julie and Kevin stayed wth one of their sons, Bill.  We were given such a welcome and our holiday was packed with wonderful memories.

Alice's later life was much easier, although she still worked until she was 80 years old.  She was employed by Unigate Dairies to make teas for the staff in their Head Office.  She was treasured by them and, as she got a little more frail, they would carry the tea trays to the offices for her, so she just had to make the tea and wash up after someone returned the trays of dirty cups.  She loved her little job and wasn't doing it out of necessity any more, but it gave her a purpose.

Alice was an amazing lady, a good mother-in-law and a generous Granny.

Ann's story this month

A Lot To Do

The letters from the children started coming in about the middle of November, so the elves began their duties in earnest. There were a few who were assigned to the “Gadgets, Gifts and Gizmo” group who monitored the adverts on the television to see what the latest “must have” this year would be and if it coincided with the requests already in. Unlike people who watch the programmes and often make a drink while the adverts are on, the elves only concentrate on the adverts. Another group were assigned to making beautiful items from wood, like toys, games and decorations, quite often for the younger family members. The last group helped Santa to get everything ready by checking all the sleighs were in working order for the big night and the whistle-stop journey. Mrs Claus was making preparations for the food for everyone. She was planning how many sausage rolls, mince pies, cinnamon biscuits, Christmas puddings and savoury nibbles, etc, to make, as once the deliveries are over it is the time for Santa, Mrs Claus and the elves to all sit down together for their Christmas celebrations before Santa goes on a very strict diet, due to all the mince pies he eats on his journey. There is always a lot to do, but everyone gets busy to the accompaniment of the elves singing all the Christmas songs.

Things were going well and most of the toys requested by the children had been made sourced and were ready for wrapping and sorting into different journeys, when Mrs Claus started feeling unwell. She developed a dreadful cold and was forced to take to her bed, all the time fretting about not having got all her food preparations done. Everyone tried to tell her that the quicker she rested the quicker she would recover, but to now avail. Gretchen, one of the television monitors, had been studying some of the other adverts and was very taken with one particular one. She spoke to her friend Wilfred and showed it to him, asking what he thought. He was impressed and together they spoke to Santa. When he saw it he agreed and they all put the plan to Mrs Claus. The advert was from Tesco and the tempting selection of many different puddings, savouries and frozen vegetables. All they needed to do was cook the turkey and vegetables and take the rest out of the packaging. The elves were particularly impressed that there were sprouts, as these fairy cabbages are one of their favourites. With the food problem sorted, Mrs Claus took to her bed to make a full recovery.

However the problems were not over as a couple of the reindeer started feeling unwell and passed the cold on to Rudolf. Now unlike people when they get a cold and develop a red nose, a reindeer nose looses its rosy glow. This meant he would not be able to guide the sleigh and that would cause trouble, as there was no other reindeer qualified to do the job. Poor Santa was at his wits end. He could not let all the children down, and knew there was no way he could complete all the journeys in time. Then Wilfred came to the rescue with an idea. When Gretchen was showing him the advert she had found, he noticed another and liked that. This one could solve the problem. Why not ask Amazon to help? They deliver the next day and do so with a smile. Problem solved. Everyone happy. Christmas is coming – can you feel it, can you feel it, can you feel it?

Oct Meeting at John and Sheila's

Beautiful clear skies morning - both winning stories had 2 votes each


Joan R's story

Less Fortunate

My name is Lottie Van der Linden nee Van der Beek but when I was born and christened in 1939 I was given the name Mary Weston I had two older brothers Henry and George and a younger sister Alice. Our father was killed in 1941in the war and our mother could not earn enough to keep us so my brothers and myself were put into a home Alice was a baby so she stayed our mother came to see us when she could. Then in 1944 I was 5 Henry 11 and George 10 the matron came and told us that our mother and sister had been killed in an air raid and now that we were orphans we would be sent to another country to start a new life. 

Henry said we were family and should stay together but I was marched away by the matron with Henry and George yelling my name. I was put on a ship with some other girls I did not like it it went up and down and rolled from side to side. After a very long time we stopped at this place where there were very strange men and women I asked a man on the ship why do they paint themselves black he just laughed. I was taken to the home of Mila and Levi Van der Beek who said they were now my parents I asked about my brothers but nothing was known. I was shown to a room with lots of toys new clothes and shoes. 

I had a coloured nanny (that’s what they were called having been born that way) also a coloured man to take me to school. Everything was done for us I just went to school made friends and had a very happy and good life as the years passed I forgot about my brothers but sometimes I had an empty feeling as if I was missing something but then I would go to a party and all would be well.

Then when I was 20 I met Hans Van der Linden who I married life went on much the same but when I was 22 Hans noticed a change in the workforce and realised that trouble was coming to South Africa and decided that we would return home as I was pregnant which we did to Holland where he had family his mother welcomed me and was upset to hear that I had no family. As our son was born Hans asked about a name and I said without hesitation Henry George he looked at me as if to say why I said that these were my brothers names the birth must have triggered some memory I told Hans I had to look for them and he agreed. It took us 10 years to locate them and I found they were less Fortunate than me having been sent to Australia to a ranch in the outback where the life was hard, cruel and brutal so that when Henry was 18 he told George they were leaving and even though they had only 4 dollars between them they made there way to Sydney where Henry got a job driving trucks George who liked cooking having done this on the ranch worked in a restaurant they rented a cheap one bedroomed flat. Henry said they had to do something with their lives he was not good at anything so told George he had to enrol in night school to qualify as a chef. He took every driving job going to pay for the equipment and books George needed for his course but it reaped rewards as George passed his exams with distinction. He continued working at the restaurant and after two years the owner wanted to retire but he was desperate for the restaurant to survive so he sold it to Henry and George at a good price. 

They obtained a bank loan to purchase it there were two rooms above the kitchen used for storage they cleared these out and lived there to save the rent of the flat. Henry still took every job going. The restaurant thrived due to George creating a new menu. When Henry was not driving he helped from washing dishes to serving drinks and clearing tables. They went from strength to strength so much so that when the premises next door became vacant they purchased that to double the size of the restaurant. George told Henry that he had to give up driving and come work full time as he was a partner so Henry became the manager. Very soon they opened up another restaurant and then another and another during all this time they also managed to get married and have children buying houses next to each other as they were that close. I did not know if they remembered me let alone want to see me but Hans reached out and discovered they had been looking for me so a visit was arranged. I must admit then when we landed at Sydney airport I was nervous looking at all the people that were there I recognised them straight away and when Henry yelled Mary eeee I dropped my suitcase and ran towards him he opened his arms scooped me up and swung me round like he used to and right there and then I was five years old again in the home. As my brothers and I hugged with our families looking on mostly crying I felt that at last I was whole and another chapter of my life was about to begin.

This is Sheila's 

LESS FORTUNATE

Mark was thinking back to when he was a young boy about 6 or 7 and seeing – in his minds eye – quite clearly, at mealtimes his mother chiding him saying  “Come on, eat up your dinner.  There are children LESS FORTUNATE than you somewhere in the world that haven’t got enough to eat each day, and here you are leaving some’.  He could still hear her voice after all these years and still feel a bit guilty if he should ever leave something.  Because of this, the young Mark decided, that when he left school he would try and do something about this situation and help these children – where ever they were in the world.  Of course, it was years before he was old enough to leave school but it was always at the back of his mind, but he didn’t know how to go about it.  On leaving school he started an apprenticeship with a firm that taught woodwork, metalwork, electrics, tiling and even thatching.  In fact, everything that goes into building houses, etc.  

Mark loved the diversity  of it all and knew it would give him a good standing for any job in his future.  Little did he know, that when he walked into his local job centre, that he first thing he saw was a poster wanting people to go to Africa to build homes and school in little villages in the poorest areas of the country.  Mark had a ‘light-bulb’ moment when he though ‘this is what I want to do to help all those LESS FORTUNATE children that mum was talking about all those years ago’.  His mum was very proud that he was going to do this so after all the paperwork and things had been sorted out he, and a few others that wanted to do the same, flew off to Africa.  They were met at the airport and drove for a few hours until they arrived at this village in the middle of no-where.  Some building had already been started but there was still a lot to do.  After a nights rest they all got started the next day.  It was hot going but they all soon got into the routine and blended into a good working team.  

Their first job was to build a school.  The children had only the one teacher that had been able to teach a very basic education but the elders of the village were quite happy with that.  Mark and the team went on to build enough small homes to accommodate the dozen or so families of the village, many of them had been living in one-roomed shack-type places that their parents had made, so they were well pleased with the new ones.  There was a scheme where volunteers would arrive for a few weeks to help, then leave and a few more would arrive.  They were given jobs like keep drinks of water coming, to fetch and carry things and generally make themselves useful.  Having finished one village, Mark and the team would move on to another village and start all over again.  Mark and the others always felt a great sense of achievement after each one, but after 10 years or so Mark felt that it was time to go home.  

He was very sad to be leaving but also looking forward to seeing his parents and friends again.  Once home, there was lots and lots to talk about of course.  It was a bit strange at first getting to fit in after all the years in Africa, but he soon got back into the less hectic way of life.  As he was thinking of his mother with his 6 or 7 year olds eyes and knowing all the things that had resulted from that he was quite contented about how his life had been and felt that yes, he had helped the children that were LESS FORTUNATE.

September at Joan's

Nine of us turned up despite long queues due to roadworks. Ann won with her crystal ball vision of Southampton's ruin. 
22 Oct Less fortunate.

Announced

When it was announced that a journey to earth had been arranged on the next space shuttle, there was a lot of interest. This annual event was always a popular voyage and the places visited had been a revelation to many. Over the years some of the places visited had included Angkor Wat in Camdodia, to marvel at the temple complex and largest religious monument in the word. It was abandoned possibly due to flooding after the river course changed. Machu Picchu, was an Inca citadel high in the mountains of the Andes and had been abandoned in the mid fifteen hundreds after the empire collapsed and Pompeii in Italy was preserved, along with its inhabitants, and buried under metres of volcanic ash and dust for hundreds of years. It was discovered many years later. The last visit was to Chernobyl, a town in Russia, abandoned due to a fire in the nuclear reactor in the middle of the twentieth century. Huge areas around the site were also cleared due to the contamination. The reactor was eventually totally enclosed. The destination for this trip was unannounced, other than a city in the south of England.

Once the trip was underway it was finally revealed that it was Southampton. The shuttle landed on small area in front of a large white building with a tower. It was showing signs of neglect and had probably been quite an impressive building when it was first constructed. It was surrounded by what appeared to be the remains of smaller structures. There were large trees and everything was very overgrown and wild. Moving further out from this area and fighting the way through the trees and shrubs, they emerged into another place that appeared to have once been an open sector but it was surrounded by outlines of areas that had obviously been structures. These had become the homes of the wildlife that had taken over the entire place. There was scuttling and shuffling as the inhabitants quickly moved out of sight. In front of them was an impressive building with an archway in the middle. This looked to be of another era. On either side of this were the remains of thick walls. Moving through the arch they were again surrounded by derelict buildings with just the imprint of the size visible. The thick walls appeared to surround this area and there were a few buildings that seemed to have suffered less damage than the more modern ones as they were of a completely different design and construction. Continuing down towards the bottom of the town they passed more of the old buildings and finally came to the water. Along the waterfront were the remains of large, high frameworks. These showed signs of corrosion and looked decidedly unsafe. Again nature had taken charge and the flora and fauna were flourishing. After viewing the city again on their way back taking another route, they arrived at the space shuttle and once on board were then told about the demise of this once flourishing place.

In the mid twentieth century it had been prospering. The port catered for a vast range of container ships and cruise liners. The passengers from the liners visited the city and the vibrant shopping centre, generating additional income. Southampton had suffered badly during the war and a new shopping centre had been built. A great amount of the medieval city still remained inside the city walls with several quite significant buildings. Among them the Bargate, Tudor House, the Wool House, Gods House Tower, and the medieval vaults and although they were built later, the Holy Rood Church that was bombed during the blitz and the shell dedicated as memorial to Merchant Seamen and St. Michael’s Church that survived. These were all great tourist attractions. It was also home to a good university. The city also boasted many open parks that were kept neat and colourful all year round. One of the parks boasted a bird aviary that was a great favourite with children and adults alike. Entertainment was also well catered for with cinemas, a concert hall, theatres, dancing venues, swimming pool and outdoor lido, an ice rink and a speedway track. All of these were well supported, but over the years they gradually were closed and never replaced. It seemed that when any small shop closed the council officers could only think of more housing and huge shopping malls. The final straw came when the city fathers decided to charge outrageous payments for any vehicle to enter the city and raised the parking charges to include evenings. Residents moved out and shoppers refused to come, choosing instead to journey to other cities that welcomed their patronage. Any shops that had survived immediately ceased trading, as they were unable to obtain any stock. The shopping centre became a ghost town and looters swiftly moved in followed by the squatters, leaving the whole area like a ghetto. The cruise companies took their business to other ports that had something to offer the passengers, as did the container side of the port. Soon nature took over the city and the squatters moved out. The buildings started to crumble in the newer part and all the modern architecture ended as rubble leaving the old city, enhanced by the two churches, standing proudly within the walls to come into it’s own again. The fall of this once great city two hundred years ago was all due to man’s greed for money, surely a lesson to be learnt.

August at Pat's

Ann got most votes.
Next month "Announced." at Joan's.

Thudding

Luke groaned when the phone started ringing and muttered to himself, “Why does it always ring just as I am about to sit down for a quiet evening? I suppose it’s because everyone knows that I will probably be in at this time”. Reaching over, he picked up the phone,

“Hello”

“Hi Luke”, answered his sister Jess. “Do you still have Doris?”

“Umm, yes, but what is this all about and yes I am well in case you were going to ask”.

“Sorry dearest brother! Well I was wondering if I could borrow her for one of our props at our next production in a couple of weeks time.”

“I’ll have to find her first. I think she is up in the loft tucked away safely in a box. I am away for a couple of days this week, but if I can find her I could bring her down to you at the weekend and you can feed me as a Thank You”.

“That you would be great and thanks so much. I look forward to seeing you again”.

Having located Doris and packed her safely into the boot of the car, he went back into the house to check everything was locked up and turned off before returning to get in the car, but the car had gone.

“Shit”, he thought. “I left the keys in the car. What a plonker. I suppose I’d better phone the police and report it stolen. At least it’s got a tracking device fitted so that may help, but how am I going to explain Doris?”

The police notified the traffic cops and before he knew it he had another policeman knocking on the door to take more details. Wondering how they had managed to find at least two, possibly three policemen to deal with his complaint when he had heard of others who had just been given a crime number and nothing else, he answered the door. He went over the details he had given to the officer over the phone and then went on to explain about the box in the boot of the car and it’s contents.

“It was a relic from my student days. We all tried to outdo one another with bizarre items and Doris was mine. I was about to deliver it to my sister in Somerset for her drama group production next week. You can check if you want to”.

The officer said there was no need, but it could prove to be quite amusing when the joy riders were apprehended and it would appear that they had been located.

The two lads were kicking around looking for something to do when they noticed the car in the drive with the driver door open and the keys in the ignition. They turned to each other, gave a high five and quickly got in and drove off. A trip down to the beach seemed like a good idea and after getting out of town, the driver put his foot down and they were off. It wasn’t long before they saw the blue flashing lights fast approaching. Now the chase was on. Screaming round round-abouts, taking corners almost on two wheels and risking life and limb as they jumped red lights, they were hotly pursued. After a while there was a slight thudding in the back of the car that increased as they sped along. Out into the country and down the narrow lanes, the chase continued with the siren blaring and the lights flashing. Seeing a small pull-in next to a field gate the driver slammed on the brakes and the car came to a halt with a jolt. Not stopping, they were out of the car and off across the field with the police close on their tails. Their layabout lifestyle showed as they were very quickly rounded up and marched back to the parked cars. After asking their names and getting no reply, except shrugs, the police went to the back of the car and opened the boot. Looking in, the policeman said, “Now I can see why you were in such a hurry lads. Were you on the way to the cemetery or had you just come from it?”

Wondering what on earth he was on about they went to look in the boot and had the shock of their lives.

“Christ”, said one as the other exclaimed, “Bloody hell”.

Spilling from the broken box she had been in, Doris the skeleton gazed up at them.

July

Nine of us today in Leaside on a very hot day set to break records for heat.
Three people had 2 votes each Sheila, Joan R and Rosemary.

Rosemary's story
THE WAY IN

The music of the fairground rides reached their ears long before they reached the street where the fair came for three days at the beginning of each September.  Always, children hoped, before school began again, as Ellen well remembered from her own schooldays.

"Come on, Nan!" Davy said, tugging on Ellen's hand, as they made their way through the crowds making for the fair.  "Can we go on EVERY ride, Nan?" asked Joanna, tugging on Ellen's other hand.  "We'll see," Ellen replied, remembering it was always her own mother's answer when she was a child and asked for something special.

As they made their way through the crowds Ellen began reminiscing about the very first time she'd come to this fair, shortly after the end of the Second World War.  One of the first stalls had puzzled her with its wares, as she looked at the various fruits she'd never seen before.  Yes, she'd shared a banana that her friend's Dad had brought home - a third each between Linda, Pat and herself.  Yes, she'd enjoyed that, but whatever was this sort of FLUFFY round thing?  "IT'S A PEACH," her Mum had explained, and bought one for her to try.   She hadn't liked the furry skin but the flesh inside was absolutely delicious and she'd never forgotten that very first one at the fair.

All the usual rides were there and Ellen enjoyed watching her two grandchildren enjoying the rides, and hoping to bag a coconut or other prize on the many different stalls.  Suddenly Davy spotted the Ghost Train and wanted to spend some of his remaining pocket money on that scary ride.  He looked at his sister and said, "You'd better not come with me.   It's FAR too scary for GIRLS!"  But Joanna wasn't going to let him get away with that.  So both children and their Nan looked for the way in and settled down for a scary ride.  As they swung round corners with spooky skeletons or even spookier noises making Joanna cling onto her Nan, and even the bold Davy feeling a shudder down his spine from time to time, Ellen remembered the first time she and her friends had ridden the Ghost Train, determined to be brave, yet longing for the ride to come to an end, so that they could get out at last.  It seemed to go on for ever and it seemed they might NEVER get out again.

"A bit like the many twists and turns on the journey towards BREXIT," thought Ellen and wondered whether the powers that be would EVER find the EXIT door or not.  A bit scary, just like the Ghost Train!

Sheila's story

Julie was not keen on horse riding, but as her dad was one of the trainers at the local stables, she really grew up with it all.  Besides training the more serious and experienced riders they also encouraged them to enter the local gymkhana every year.  It was good fun and lovely to see the little hopefuls riding the ponies in their races.  Each race had a points system and at the end of the day the children who came 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd had big rosettes in different colours, and all the rest had smaller rosettes with a “Well Done” in the canter, which made them feel good after all their hard work.  As Julie became a young teenager she started wanting a Saturday and holiday job, so working at the stables was the natural choice.  She started “mucking-out”, which, I suppose is the way all of them started.  Later on she was taught how to groom the horses.  She loved doing this and as she progressed and proved to the stable owner that she was quite competent she was put in sole charge of two horses to feed and groom.  

It was Julie’s job also to get them both ready for the people that wanted riding lessons.  People came and went,  some decided it was not for them, some lasted a few lessons and some stuck at it and became quite good riders.  A few wanted to go into the gymkhana each year.  The more serious riders had been taught how to do the jumping of the low fencing, which was spaced round the arena, while the others ran the races.  

No points system like the juniors, so even the ones that didn,t come first, they all had fun and at the end of the day they had all enjoyed themselves.  Tired out, but happy.  One of the more serious ones, Joe, was not very tall and quite slim in build and wanted to carry on riding after the lessons had finished, so he spoke to the stable owner, who suggested to him that he could work at the stables and train as a jockey – what did he think?  Well, he was overjoyed and soon settled into the routine of the stables. 

He was allocated a race horse – called Beauty and he was a quick learner at knowing when to urge her on and when to rein her in and all the other things you have to do in a race.  Beauty responded to Joe in all the commands and they very soon became a good team.  The stable owner was so pleased at the way things were going that he suggested that when the next racing season started he would like to enter Joe and Beauty into the novice race.  For the next few months they trained hard and Julie was busy grooming Beauty two or three times a day.  The excitement grew the nearer the racing season became, then very soon the big day came.  Julie was asked to go with them to the racecourse to see to Beauty, which she was thrilled to do.  She had just got back to the horsebox after walking Beauty round the paddock when Joe arrived, wearing the jockey outfit in the stable colours of black and green, and looking a bit nervous.  “Can you help me?” he said to Julie, “I have been told to get weighed, but I don’t know where to go”.  “Oh!” said Julie,”You want the WAY IN to the weigh-in room”.  She laughed and said, “I have been wanting to say that for ages”.  Joe laughed and Julie said, “No problem, follow me”. 

Sue entertained us today and we all enjoyed Rosemary's cakes

Eight in attendance Pat had three  votes but Rosemary had four with Sue One.


Below is Rosemary's amusing take on knowing what no is not.


"NO/KNOW"

How do we know that we know what we mean when we say NO?
How do others know that we know what we mean when we say NO?
And how do WE know that others know what THEY mean when they say NO?
NO can be known as so many different things to many different people, so how can we know when NO means NO and how can we know when NO doesn't quite mean NO?

We might say NO to a toddler who reaches out to an open fireplace or an angry-looking dog or cat, because WE know it could be dangerous, but how does the toddler know that we know why we've said NO when they don't know the reasoning behind our NO?

When we become teenagers and begin to know what first love is all about, we don't know how to handle this overwhelming new emotion, so we emphatically know we should say NO, while all the time we know we want to say YES.  But because we know we ought to say NO, we say NO in a half-hearted way.

And when we become parents ourselves we KNOW when to say NO to our own children, don't we?  Yet who knows whether, in a few years' time, saying NO to our children will be known as a sort of politically incorrect HATE CRIME, because saying NO to them will be somehow damaging to their own sense of independence and individuality - even when we know that saying NO is what they need to know to keep them safe.  I believe that some high-ranking educationalists already claim to know that it's wrong and demeaning to ever say NO to their pupils, for teachers no longer know best.  So when children know what they want to do, they should be allowed to do it, even if they know it's wrong - because no-one is allowed to say NO to them, so no-one HAS said NO.

When I was a child my parents very rarely said NO to me.  That doesn't mean I was a spoilt brat!  NO, for whenever an occasion arose when they knew they should either say YES or NO, instead they always said, "WE'LL SEE".  Well, "WE'LL SEE" was no answer to me, so I used to get really fed up, because I knew that "WE'LL SEE" could mean either YES or NO!  So when I asked could I go out after tea to play with Ann?  WE'LL SEE!  Could I please have a penny for sweets?  WE'LL SEE!  And the year when I knew that all I wanted for Christmas was a doll like Linda's, even if it meant all the family helping to pay for it, and it was the only present I had?  WE'LL SEE!

WE'LL SEE - and I just knew it would be NO to that doll - but it wasn't, and I still have that somewhat bedraggled china doll - no hair, no fancy dress and eyes a bit wonky!  Yes, that time my parents' WE'LL SEE turned out to be a YES, not the NO I'd expected.

So, how do we know when NO means NO?  Or how do we know that we are really 'in the know' about something important which we know that no-one else knows?  I don't KNOW - do you?